Are you Wildling? Take this quiz and find out.
1) Your mother is taking you and your little sister Mellow out to the car. She puts your sister down in the carport, approximately 40 feet from the quiet, dead end street. You immediately:
a) Do nothing. Mellow is obviously safe.
b) Scream hysterically that “She’s going to run into the street!”
c) Grab Mellow by the neck and knock her to the ground even though she isn’t actually running toward the street nor is she making any indication that she may do so in the future.
d) Both B and C
2) It is lunch time at school. Your lunch contains all of your favorite foods. You:
a) Eat it all, because it is seriously all of your favorite foods
b) Touch nothing in your lunch and complain later that it ‘just doesn’t taste good.’
3) You love your sister, so you hug her very tightly. She starts screaming and struggling to get away. Your mother tells you to let her go. You:
a) Let her go. After all, you always listen to your mother.
b) Let her go AND apologize for making her cry.
c) Don’t let her go until you’ve been told fifteen times, because fifteen is some magical number and you can’t possibly obey any commands issued fewer times than that.
4) You get out of the bath and immediately feel cold. To warm up you:
a) Dry off with a towel
b) Put on your nice warm bathrobe that your mother special ordered so you’d have something with your name on it
c) Run screaming out of the bathroom because you just noticed your bathrobe has a tag saying it is size 3T, and since you are 4, you can’t possibly wear it.
5) It is time to get ready for bed. You put on your pajama pants but cannot find the matching shirt. Your papa (foolishly) suggests you wear a different shirt. You must:
a) Put on a different shirt
b) Change into entirely different pajamas
c) Scream hysterically for ten minutes and then put on different pajamas
6) It is nighttime. You are in bed, wearing pajamas. You get cold. You immediately:
a) Get under the covers
b) Crawl into bed with your parents
c) Take your pants off and put the lower half of your body into a pillowcase and fall asleep with the pillow on your legs.
7) You have a bad dream and wake up thinking that there might be monsters in the room. It is 2:00am. Your best course of action is to:
a) Realize there are no monsters and go back to sleep.
b) Cry a little bit, but allow your exhausted parents to comfort you and go back to sleep.
c) Scream hysterically for twenty minutes but refuse to tell anyone why you are suddenly screaming.
d) C, AND make sure to wake your sister up as well because she needs to be alerted to the possible threat of monsters.
8) Your family wants to go for a walk. You insist that you want to walk/run/fly. You are told there is no stroller for you. You assure everyone that you don’t needs a stroller. How long can you actually walk?
a) Almost to the end of the street
b) Until the halfway point of your walk
c) Until you realize your sister is riding in a stroller, and decide that it is inherently unfair
d) All of the above occur simultaneously
9) You are four years old. This means you can brush your teeth:
a) Anytime you want.
b) Every morning and every evening
c) Only if you are in a good mood. Otherwise your teeth must be brushed to your specifications by someone else.
10) True or False: It is possible to drink milk without a straw.
1) D; 2) B; 3) C; 4) C; 5) C; 6) C; 7) D; 8) D; 9) C; 10) False
If you answered every question correctly, then you must be Wildling (or a similar four-year-old). Also, if you are, why are you up reading this? GET BACK IN BED!