I think it’s happening. Will and I are finally ready to make a real commitment to each other. After 15 years of friendship, 10.5 years of a romantic relationship, 9 years of living together, and almost 8 years of marriage, we are finally ready to do it: we are going to stop having separate silverware.
It’s true. Real commitment is happening.
When we first moved in together, in 2005 (we’re getting old!), we each had our own set of silverware. Mine was a gift from my grandmother, when she cleared out all of her kitchen stuff to move in with my parents. A few minutes on Google tells me that the pattern, Oneida Twin Star, is considered vintage, so I guess that qualifies mine as fancy and elegant. Will’s silverware, the Oneida Jupiter Satin (thanks, Google and ten minutes of searching), is one that he bought himself when he first moved out of his parents’ house. He loves his. He thinks it’s the most beautiful silverware in the world.
Neither of us was willing to compromise, and we wouldn’t give up our silverware. Personally, I think he should have gotten rid of his, because mine is vintage and came from my grandmother (plus, it’s pretty). But according to him, the curved edge at the base of the forks and spoons digs into his delicate hands and hurts him, so he can’t eat with those – and he hasn’t, in the ten years he’s had access to them. I’ve used either set, because my hands are tougher than his, but I wasn’t going to give up a pattern I really liked for his kind of boring one.
So that’s the way it has been for the past ten years. We have a silverware drawer filled to overflowing. A couple of years ago I got a nice organizer for the drawer, but there are so many spoons that everything is just kind of jammed in and messy anyway.
Here’s what’s changed: I am decluttering. Stuff is gong away. Bags and bags of unnecessary crap have been taken out of our house and donated or disposed of. Today, I was working on the kitchen and I opened our ridiculously over-filled silverware drawer and I realized that we needed to do something to fix this situation (also, Will needs to fix the actual drawer, since it’s partially damaged).
It is time. We are committed to each other. We don’t need to hold on to our old silverware just in case we decide to break up. That ship has sailed. We aren’t going anywhere. And in honor of this commitment, we need to stop this ridiculous use of separate sets of silverware.
We are buying one set. We will go to a store and pick out a set together, and that will be our shared silverware. I think we’re finally ready.