We’ve had a bit of a cricket problem lately. I don’t know how they keep getting in our house. Will says he’s not surprised, that there are holes everywhere. He makes it sound like we’re living in a tarpaper shack. There are not holes everywhere. The only cricket access points I can see are the actual doors, and you’d think we’d notice a horde of squeaky insects trying to sneak in.
Crickets fall under our ‘kill them on sight’ policy, as do silverfish, mosquitoes, and ants. Roaches used to, but we only ever had one of those, and the resultant epic Will vs Roach battle nearly destroyed our living room, shattered my favorite drinking glass and left water everywhere (but somehow didn’t wake up the sleeping baby). Yes, Will nearly lost that battle. If he had, I suppose we would have had to sign the deed of our house over to the roach and move into an actual drafty shack like the one Will seems to think we live in.
Our kids react very differently when they see a cricket in the house.
Mellow: Oh, look, something moving. I’m going to squat down and look at it closer. Hello, Mr. Cricket. I can chirp too. It’s cute, listen. Chirp chirp chirp. Ok, I’m going to just look at you now. And I’m done. Off to find some crayons to eat. Bye, Mr. Cricket.
Wildling: OH MY GOD THERE IS A CRICKET IN THE HOUSE! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! AHHHHHHHHHHH! MAMA! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMING IS NOT SCARING IT AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM OUT OF IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fortunately for all of us, we are all in the habit of leaving shoes everywhere, so there is always something nearby we can use to heroically smash the cricket and save Wildling.